My newest pet peeve.

I have to say that I strongly dislike hotel maids now. Hate is too strong a word, but it's not far off. Don't get me wrong -- I respect and appreciate the fact that they provide clean hotel rooms most of the time. It's just some of the other things they do that get on my last nerve.

Specifically, it's the knock on the door almost every morning. And I'm not talking about the regular housekeeping knock that can be avoided by putting out the "Do Not Disturb" sign. All that does is save you from the first disturbance.

I'll be laying in bed sound asleep when all of a sudden I'm jarred awake by a pounding on my door. Immediately following this knock is the infamous announcement: "HousekeePING?" They always have that same saccharin-sweet voice, and they always stress the last syllable as if they're asking a question. It must be part of standard training for all hotel maids. In any case, I'm pretty sure she isn't asking if I'd like housekeeping, since I made the effort the night before to POST A FRIGGIN' SIGN.

When I open the door, she speaks again, but this time she uses her growly, beer-swilling, carton-a-day trucker voice. "When're you planning to check out?!" she stammers, to which I reply that I don't know and I don't make that decision. I also add that I don't know where the guy who makes the decision is. Once she realizes she's not getting any answers from me, she storms off in search of more cooperative patrons.

This isn't an every morning thing, but for three days in a row it was. And it didn't matter that the band had prior authorization for a late checkout. It got to the point where when I heard the knock on the door I almost launched into Tommy Boy mode and shouted, "GO AWAY!!"

Oh yeah, and the hotel room snafu that caused the delay... well, long story short the hotel screwed up in booking the rooms and I had to vacate my room temporarily because someone else needed it. It's kind of a long story and not very interesting, so that's the short version.